Quotes from People you Know
“I cannot go out tonight. I am just so exhausted by the time I get home from work.”
“I will probably just watch a show again tonight and go to sleep.”
These are OK once in awhile, but…
All of these things are reasonable once in awhile, or if you have some new stressful thing going on in your life, or if you have a baby that will not sleep at night. But if this is the way you always are, maybe you are not simply tired. No, I am not going to feed you some nonsense hypochondria-inducing statement, or tell you to take a vitamin.
You know what your problem is?
Instead, I am going to suggest that you are quite bored. Somewhere along the way, you have stopped doing things that you truly enjoy or are passionate about. Some time ago, you stopped seeking out and spending time with people you connect with. Slowly but surely, you might have ignored your preferences in favor of making someone else happy…like your family, your spouse, or your inner voice, who sounds an aweful lot like a nagging parent when you were a pre-teen.
Why did this happen?
I will suggest that you learned that some of the things you naturally like were not accepted by your close family or friends when you were growing up, and you decided that you would not like those things anymore either, so you could fit in or get approval from the people you love. Over time, you got used to stuffing down your feelings, and became a bit numb. Once you get down the path of numbness for a few months, or maybe 20 years, it is much easier to ignore all those annoying feelings that are trying to tell you that you are not doing what you are meant to do. And by ignoring the indicators that you are off your track, your ambition, passion, and close connection to other people, fades.
Can I fix it?
Probably. Here is one thing to try first, which you can do anywhere, for free. If you can start setting aside a few minutes a day to close your eyes and just breathe, with no extra distractions, you might be able to notice some of those feelings popping up. You need some quiet time by yourself to listen to your feelings and your inner voice.
Thinking is a distraction too
I will recommend that you do not overthink while being still with yourself. It is very unlikely that you will get full experience of your emotions by thinking about them…feelings and thoughts can swirl with eachother, but you do not experience them quite the same. Thinking can be a distraction from the feelings. You could act a little curious about a feeling that you notice while being still, and pay attention to it and give it some space to just be for a bit. Perhaps ask yourself when you last felt that feeling…or when you first felt that feeling. If you do not get an answer to those questions, let it go and experience the feeling. It is OK. With practice, you could develop a habit of noticing your feelings and acknowledging them, without judging them as bad or good. You could discover the things already in your life that make you feel great, and do those things more often. You could discover that some things you have been doing, do not serve you, and let someone else do those things. A lot of things are possible.
By taking some quiet time every day, you could realign your life with your unique talents and feelings…the things that make you special, and enjoy a lot more of your day. You might even find that you are excited to do those things, and not feel so tired anymore.
Or, instead of discovering and accepting who you are and what you really like, you could forget all these suggestions and distract or numb yourself by becoming very busy, or by drinking too much, or mocking people who decide to do something different with their lives, just because they decided that they want to. If you are mocking or strongly affected by other people’s choices, you might just be hiding from your own desire to do something similar with your life. The only way to find out is to get to know yourself again.